Reading is one of those things in my life that I can manage to do consistently, even if it’s only a page a day. In my opinion there is no place on this planet that isn’t a good place to settle in with a book – save for the car, that is. As of these past two years, John Green has been my favorite writer, if you haven’t heard of him then perhaps you should look him up. It is in Mr. Green’s novels that I find peace and reassurance because each of his books has – in some odd way or another – described some period of my life that I thought only I had experienced. When I think about that statement, I realize how ridiculous the implications are. Surely I’m not so unique that no one else in the world has gone through something I have. Either way, John Green has this particular way of getting to you.

In each of John’s books he tells a coming of age story but the special thing about his books is that it’s all possible. He goes through the everyday lives of ordinary teenagers and makes them fantastically honest, I’ve not read a book of his yet in which I couldn’t relate his characters to someone I know, and yet there’s still that something awesome that can be found in every book that real life simply doesn’t come equipped with, unfortunately – I hear that in the newer models they’re offering them as an accessory.

While I’m reading these books, I get this intense feel that absolutely anything (even enticing real-life situations) are possible in my life but once the book is over, I’m left startlingly empty. I want these things to be real so badly and it feels – once that books is closed – that such fantastic things will never happen to me. I refuse to stay this way because I know that I haven’t always been.

Throughout my childhood I believed that anything was possible, when I grew up I knew that I would be something different, special. Despite what the grown-ups said I knew that I would go on grand adventures, become someone that everyone knew and everyone wanted to be. I was going to be an inspiration. Constantly I could be found in my backyard, climbing trees, sword fighting with branches alongside my best friend and making up stories and acting them out completely of our own imagination. Sometimes, in this hectic work and school life, I wonder ‘What’s happened to this girl?’

Sure, there are many times that others catch me daydreaming and I imagine up all sorts of wacky stories that end up being themes to a novel that I’m forever working on, but still it just doesn’t feel the same. In reality, I lived in this wonder filled world as a kid and now I barely skim the surface as a nearly-adult and this fact bothers me. With everything that’s going on, I sometimes forget why I’m even at university! Then there’s those nights that everything seems beautiful and the clouds seem painted and hope seems tangible and I remember why I’m here. It’s funny that in my attempt to broaden my horizons through learning I’ve narrowed them terribly into a world of tests, classes, routines and short naps.

During a car ride today, I saw a tiny play castle that pulled up a million memories that led me to this post. I remembered how big such a small toy seemed, how being in a tiny plastic castle made me feel unstoppable. Though I’ve strayed from the path untraveled onto this paved road of adulthood, I’m determined to start recognizing the reasons that I am who I am, why I’m a daydreamer who builds impossible landscapes with ink and paper, why I so long – and will – travel the world and see all there is to be seen. I will find myself again and take the time to absorb the incredible world that I’ve shut out with a claustrophobic schedule.

I won’t shut out my dreams anymore.

Other Posts by Val

• The Comfort Zone
• Um... Nerves?
• The Final Sprint!
• All I Want for Christmas Is... Give Me a Sec...
• All the Things!
• Just Dance
• Hustle and Bustle and Very Little Cheer
• End of Semester Blues
• Thoughts from a Traffic Jam
• Optimism Saves Life
• System Overload: Please Wait As You're Redirected
• In My Own Little Corner
• Two Thousand and a Lemon
• To Dance, Perchance to Dream
• McDonald's, Stolen Purses, and a Guy in a Dress! Oh My!
• Is It Over Yet?
• Sleep! ...Just Kidding
• A Change in the Atmosphere
• Sleepless Cycle
• Time. Where does it go?
• One of Those Days in the Best of Ways