Connections

‘Visitor’, a black and white tuxedo cat, came to live with us about 14 years ago; he may have been 1 to 4 years old when he arrived in our household. Over the years many people who came to our house never caught a glimpse of him; it was rumored he did not exist, they we just made him up. You see, he mainly lived in various closets and came out at night to take care of bodily needs. He also came out to get affection when he chose to. Hence his name became ‘Visitor’ and then just ’The Viz’. He crossed the rainbow bridge Thursday March 20, 2008 while I was at ASU.

It was not until he was gone that we noticed how much the other 4 cats had come to have relationships with ‘The Viz’. In his last year, he had taken to sleeping curled up on my bedpillow, even at night not giving me an inch. I would reach up in my sleep and rub his ears or stroke under his chin. Since the passing in May of 2006 of DOTCOM, ‘The Viz’ had started coming out more. He quietly filled the leadership void. We never realized that he did so until he was gone.

This brings to mind how some people go quietly about living their lives, having positive impact on the world; they do not realize it, nor do those around them until they are gone. Notice the people around you. A comment from another student or their quiet example may give you the inspiration you need to stay in school or study more.

Now relationship dynamics amongst the 3 female and 1 male felines are changing as they grieve and figure out how to go on with their kitty lives. I lay my head down on my pillow at night and reach up to stroke a faithful friend who is no longer there.

And once again I am reminded that life does not get put on hold while I attend ASU.  I have grieved over and buried a Dalmatian in May 2005, a cat in May of 2006, and now a cat in March of 2008.  Also I attended services for a best human friend in December of 2006.

How do I spell success?

The semester is 2/3 over and I still have not found my motivation, my focus. I am still getting assignments done just under the wire instead of ahead of time. I can predict with some accuracy that I will not make the Dean’s List this semester.

BUT I share in the joy of the ASU basketball team as they head to MA as part of the last 8 teams standing. When I started at ASU in the summer of 2005, I could not see past remedial math; now I am waving at the finish line. I have a projected graduation of Summer 2009 with a double major. I have spent time enjoying my Labrador Retriever’s company this semester; this is a real treasure. I am being inducted into an International Business Honor Society, Beta Gamma Sigma by invitation. I have been able to navigate the waters of Business Statistics without seeking a tutor. Last but not least, I am taking the summer off for the first time since I started at ASU: It has been 9 non stop semesters.

I had previously stripped down a 4′ long toy sailboat handcrafted by my grandfather, a carpenter,  circa 1935; this summer I hope to refinish it, apply new hardware and make new sails. I have a book on sail making and plenty of optimism. I have a name decal ready ‘Seize the Breeze’ and an engraved plate for inside the boat telling who made it and when. Then it passes to the next generation. This project is something I keep trying to get ROUND-TO-IT. Most of us have a ROUND-TO-IT list.

So in some regards this has been the semester from hell but it other regards it has been full of success.

Pardon Me, could you please get a life?

This is a combination rant and rave.

A rave for professors who treat college students as adults. They recognize it is our responsibility to come to class, keep up with due dates, and get the notes from someone else if we miss. They recognize that there are times when missing a class can’t be avoided. They recognize that on a rare occasion, a student may need to quietly leave the classroom for a few minutes. A big thank you to all those professors who fit this mold!

And here is a rant for professors who treat college students as children.  You know who you are and I know you are not going to change. Let me have my little rant anyway. If you miss class your grade suffers by 2 points. This applies unless you are unconscious in a medical facility and can prove it. If you commit the crime of needing to use the bathroom during class, you are marked as 1/2 an absence. There is a myth that you can get anywhere on campus between classes with time to use the bathroom. This is false. Plus many professors keep a class overtime to finishing lecturing on a point. If you need to step out into the hallway to take an essential phone call from an ill family member or your job, yes–you guessed it! You are marked as 1/2 an absence. Note: if someone has to be a control freak to prove they are in charge, they are not really in charge. You disrespect your students by how you treat them. In turn you are not earning any respect. I know it is not going to happen, but could you please try to loosen up?

Everyone comes from somewhere

I keep my grandmother Marie’s old wooden darning egg on my computer desk to remind of where I come from.

Her legacy to me is ‘have courage, work hard, and never give up’.

Marie grew up in a tiny village in what is now Czech. and was evicted from home at age 12 to make her own way in the world; this was not out of meaness, her family was simply unable to provide.

Her first job was essentially the same as her last job; she was a domestic servant or maid. She did manually labor her entire life.

At age 32, she got on a ship, travelling to a new country (sponsored by a sibling) and settled in Detroit.

At age 34, she married a 2nd generation immigrant from her old country.

By age 42, she had given birth to 6 children and buried two of them.

Marie never learned to speak english but made sure her children went to school, even if school was held in an abandoned street car.

Her entire life was spent making do, darning sox, reusing, recycling, and always working hard.

Marie was a wrinkled elderly woman by the time I knew her; she having married in her 30s and my father also having married in his 30s.

I recall her cooking on a woodstove and darning sox. She lived into her 90s.

Because of her hard life, and her courage to put down roots in a strange new country, I have so much more opportunity than she ever envisioned. She did the best she could with the life she had.

My keys were not in hand

The day after I wrote about TM, as I pulled the front door shut, it dawned on me that my keys were still inside the house. It was to late to stop the door from shutting. My spare house key was also inside the house, although normally it would be in my rolling book bag.

Taking stock of my assets, I had my cell phone, I had a nice porch rocker to sit on, and it was a lovely day weatherwise. Yes I would miss one class but in the big picture of life, that wasn’t so bad. There was no test that day. The clouds were beautiful.

I called a friend who pet sits for me, just to get her sympathy.  She was at home that day with grandkids and offered to bring her spare key over to let me in.  What a nice surprise. I got back in the house, got to visit with a friend and was able to drive to ASU without tasking my husband to leave work to let me in.  I got off easy.

This was a reminder that no matter how carefully I pack my bookbag and mentally check off a to-do list, I need to be darn sure I have my keys in hand before going out the door.